Daily Briefing

6 tips on finding 'lasting satisfaction in life'


Editor's note: This popular story from the Daily Briefing's archives was republished on June 13, 2023.

While most people "intuitively know that happiness isn't realized from the pursuit of money, status, or fame," they often use these as measures of happiness. Writing for the Harvard Business Review, Ron Carucci, co-founder and managing partner at Navalent, outlines 6 strategies to help you find "lasting satisfaction in life."

Why do so many successful people struggle to enjoy their achievements?

Many successful professionals have a hard time enjoying their accomplishments, Carucci notes. For instance, one study found that 72% of successful entrepreneurs experience depression or other mental health concerns.

According to Carucci, our brain's reward center—especially dopamine—plays a significant part in driving our pursuit of more money, expensive items, professional successes, or prestige, then rewarding us "with a great sense of pleasure" when we achieve a goal.

However, we only experience short-lived pleasure since our brains are hardwired to find balance from extreme emotional states, leaving us with "an empty longing to repeat whatever experience brought us that pleasure in the first place," Carucci writes. 

"This ostensibly addictive cycle throws our 'enoughness' barometers completely out of whack, preventing us from being able to objectively gauge if what we've achieved is, in fact, satisfying," he notes. "That's why, although most of us intuitively know that happiness isn't realized from the pursuit of money, status, or fame, we can't stop ourselves from trying."

According to Carucci, to find "lasting satisfaction in life," you must first "relearn your approach to finding it." This requires shifting your mindset to realign your "enoughness gauges" and reevaluate your measures of success. 

3 steps that can help realign your 'enoughness gauges'

1. Evaluate your relationship with money

According to one study, 79% of Americans think they would be happier if they had more money. While money can buy "some degree of satisfaction," social science has proven money alone will not help you achieve lasting happiness, Carucci writes.

If wealth has become your measure of satisfaction, Carucci says the deeper question to examine is, "What meaning have I attached to having more money?" Most people have a complex relationship to money, but when that relationship starts to define your worth, you have "confused means with meaning," he notes.

To redefine your relationship with money, Carucci suggests asking yourself the following questions:

  • What do I believe about the role money plays in my well-being?
  • What triggers my anxiety about not having enough of it?
  • Do I compare my wealth to others and feel dissatisfied when I think others have more?
  • In what ways does money cause me to feel guilt, shame, inadequacy, or self-importance?
  • How have I defined "enough" money?

2. Evaluate your relationship with achievement

If you believe your accomplishments define you and reaching your next goal starts to consume you, your relationship to achievement is unhealthy.

To redefine your relationship with achievement, Carucci suggests asking yourself the following questions:

  • Do I neglect key relationships in the pursuit of success?
  • Have I sacrificed my health to achieve success?
  • Do I feel disillusioned or resentful when I fall short of a goal?
  • When is the last time I felt a sense of playfulness about my work, regardless of results, just for the sheer joy of doing it?
  • Do I compare my achievements to others, begrudging their successes as less earned than mine?
  • How have I defined "enough" achievement?

3. Evaluate your relationship with recognition and status

If you start to feel an "insatiable craving" for the feeling of perceived importance, you likely have an unhealthy relationship with recognition and status.

"We resort to attention-seeking behaviors to keep the steady drip of admiration flowing," Carucci writes. "And in between doses, we question our inherent value, whether we're really lovable beyond the image of ourselves we've created, and whether all the veneration is actually sincere."

To redefine your relationship with status and recognition, Carucci suggests asking yourself the following questions:

  • In what ways do I regularly seek out recognition from important people?
  • Do I spend excessive time monitoring my status on social media?
  • Do I resent it when others get recognition I feel I deserve more?
  • Do I privately question how much I'm loved, or doubt my inherent worth as a person?
  • Do I try to manipulate conversations to impress others and invite praise?
  • How have I defined "enough" recognition and status?

3 shifts that can help you 'reconfigure how you measure satisfaction'

1. Shift away from comparison

Instead of envying others or trying to entice envy through comparison, Carucci advises shifting your mindset to one of gratitude—"for the privilege of doing the work you do, for the positive experiences you've had doing it, and even for the painful setbacks that have made you better."

2. Stop keeping score

Carucci suggests surveying your contributions rather than taking stock of things like money, trophies, or followers.

"Instead of continuously moving the satisfaction line just out of reach, look for ways to make positive contributions to others, and enjoy taking inventory of those," he writes.

3. Focus on connection

When we connect with others, we receive the "antidote we need to feel satisfied." Carucci writes.

"Rather than turning on yourself or pushing others away, have the courage to reach out and ask for help. Instead of stockpiling contempt, appreciate the family, colleagues, and friends you can turn to (and who turn to you) when life gets tough," he notes. "They're where lasting satisfaction awaits you." (Carucci, Harvard Business Review, 1/25)


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